Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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