I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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