I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
