There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
