mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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