i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
