Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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