Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
