He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
