MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
