I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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