He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
