You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
