And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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