after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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