i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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