It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's official drugs can't kill me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize