Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't deserve a penis
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize