..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
