You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
