so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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