Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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