who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
