at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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