She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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