your thong is hanging out like whoa
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
