I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
