Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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