The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
