i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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