I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
