angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
