He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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