did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
