I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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