Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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