Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
