You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize