I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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