It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
