I wish I could punch you in the face.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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