That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
