You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
