Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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