It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
