wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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