Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
