idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize