I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
