Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
