I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
