My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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