I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
