Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish I only lived at night.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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