if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
