I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
