Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
