I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize