the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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