Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Everything about him screamed your future.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
