A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize